Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
