The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
