yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
