Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
