Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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