U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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