Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
