but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
