I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
