do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I die, sorry about rent.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
