you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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