he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
