11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
