when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
