My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
