my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
