If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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