drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
