i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
