HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
