she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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