meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
