I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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