Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
