ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just had sex bonerless
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
