Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
