no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
