all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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