On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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