Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Be still, my beating vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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