RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
