the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
