The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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