He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
