i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
