Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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