I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
