the condom got lost in my hair
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
