State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
