I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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