so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
