Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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