i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
