It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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