you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
