We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
