his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
