they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
