margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize