and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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