It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
